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Real linux commands with a sense of humor. (No linux knowledge required to appreciate the humor.)


% cat “food in cans”
cat: can’t open food in cans


% nice man woman
No manual entry for woman.


% “How would you rate Quayle’s incompetence?
Unmatched “.


% Unmatched “.
Unmatched “.


% [Where is Jimmy Hoffa?
Missing ].


% ^How did the sex change operation go?^
Modifier failed.


% If I had a ( for every $ the Congress spent, what would I have?
Too many (’s.


% make love
Make: Don’t know how to make love. Stop.


% sleep with me
bad character


% got a light?
No match.


% man: why did you get a divorce?
man:: Too many arguments.


% !:say, what is saccharine?
Bad substitute.


% %blow
%blow: No such job.


% \(-
(-: Command not found.


$ PATH=pretending! /usr/ucb/which sense
no sense in pretending!


$ drink matter
matter: cannot create



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