September 2009
35 posts
On finding out that I was doing this blog...
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“No way fucker! I’m not being the Carl Pilkington to your Ricky Gervais!”
Complaint #498
whitewhine:
Ugh. You posted SO many vacation photos on Facebook. It’s going to take me forever to look through them all.
-Whine by Mario
Hilarious - There is just no dissuading this mom... →
(via xstevemurphy)
- You’ll appreciate this one, babes, being on Facebook and all.
She said she had a sore tummy. I asked if it had...
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“Yes. It should be poop by now.”
On seeing me bend over naked
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“Whoa! It’s like going out the back of a butcher’s store – all that swinging meat!”
Watchxstevemurphy:
Hilarious, completely tasteless Star Wars parody from CollegeHumor
She asked me what netbooks were so I showed her a...
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“Oh, so they’re for Japanese people? Are they optimised for surfing Hello Kitty porn?”
I was singing like Michael McDonald. She was not a...
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“I hope you know that that’s the voice that makes my vagina grow shut.”
Tumblr Wire →
david:
I am SO happy with how this turned out :)
- They got the timing down perfectly! 1.5 secs is exactly how much attention spans are these days :)
On public grief over dead celebrities
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“Let me blog my Walter Cronkite story! One time, I watched him on TeeVee! Now he is dead and I am sad! THE END!
Let me tell you my Michael Jackson story! This one time, I listened to a Michael Jackson album but I don’t remember which one now he is dead I am sad. The End!”
Bikini Wax: not up to normal high standard.
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“I’ve got so much wax stuck to my vag it looks like a Babybel cheese.”
- Put a few in a see-thru sack and we have a party!
I asked why Wolverine's claws make noise when they...
stuffmygirlfriendsays:
“Given that it’s Hugh Jackman, I’m surprised a Judy Garland medley doesn’t play when his jazz-claws pop out.”
This is from:
Stuff My Girlfriend Says
]]> My girlfriend is pretty, smart, and wonderful to me. I also think she is a complete mentalist sometimes, as evidenced by the crazy stuff she says. This is my attempt to chronicle her wit and wisdom. Yes, she said all of...
“Calling soda the new tobacco, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom will introduce...”
– Newsom wants to charge stores that sell sodas (via hudack and rafer) (via david)
“I’m an IT geek by day and a full time people-watcher.”
- I wrote that about myself somewhere and I just found it today - still holds true :)
david:
Just had dinner with Jessica Alba and Gary Vaynerchuck. I didn’t take a photo because I’m a CLASSY GUY.
- Now, the problem is…pics or it didn’t happen! If it happened for me, there would definitely be pics!
“LOOKS LIKE I GOT THE NIGHT SHIFT oh hey the kitten is here too WATCH AND LEARN...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
- Yes he did! Boba Fett!
Ammo rationing at Wal-Mart as panic buying sweeps... →
The USA is suffering the most severe ammunition famine in living memory. Gun fanciers, fearing a Democrat crackdown on every American’s right to pack heat, are clearing shelves at ammo shops and hoarding cartridges.
The shortages are so bad that retail globocorp Wal-Mart has been forced to introduce rationing at the ammo counter in many of its stores. Depending on calibre, customers may be...
“CAN’T REALLY ARGUE WITH THIS WHOLE BEING A CAT THING for one thing I fit...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf chuf SOMETIMES I WONDER...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“oh sure it may look like I am asleep BUT IN FACT I AM HUGGING THIS COUCH CUSHION...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“WHAT IS THAT HAND DOING away away OK FINE A FEW TOKEN RUBS OF THE COAT hooray...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“CAN I GET A REPLAY ON THE CRASHING DISH it will clearly show it jumped of its...”
– Twitter / Sockamillion: CAN I GET A REPLAY ON THE …
“WAIT YOU’VE GOT SOMETHING ON YOUR LEG let me come over ONE MOMENT just...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“OH GLORIOUS SUN PATCH YOU ARE THE GREATEST THING I INVENTED huh wuh hey get out...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“NOW WHAT WAS THAT SHORTCUT KEY AGAIN was it alt-litterbox or shift-litterbox or...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
“SERIOUSLY CAN WAIT ALL DAY AND NIGHT FOR THIS DOOR what secrets do you have door...”
– Sockamillion (sockington) on Twitter
Faster broadband coming soon? | Backblaze Blog →
Broadband connections in the United States are 10 times slower than those in South Korea. In fact, we are number 15 based on average connection speed, behind not only Japan, Finland, France and Sweden (which are all at least 3 times faster) but also countries including Iceland, Poland, and Portugal that are blessed with significantly faster connections.
- Yes, you read right: Poland. I should...
